Euphoric Irrigation: automated watering for lazy urbanites

After a long day in the sun making pretty things for yous guys I am completely rooted...

Don't you find it self-indulgent when people say "no pun intended"? Yes you are clever, just let it happen naturally, geez. Any way I am obviously not too clever as that pun was truly accidental; I am so fucking exhausted. It was so hot in the sun that I had my very own irrigation system going, but more on that later - the irrigation, not my manly sweaty body. I wish there was more on that later. NO PUN INTENDED.

So you can see I started my day with the usual Bunnings run, really an excuse for a few sausages from the blokes out front, I eat the first two REALLY FAST then the last one slowly, alone, in the car...

Today I picked up stuff for an irrigation system to help the plants survive while we take a week out of it to listen to some of my favourite bands play in Perth, with some of my favourite people. I'm not sure how the plants will cope spiritually; me not being there to sing Nordic black metal to them and all.

I will start with the irrigation how to for those here for that alone. For more on what I have done today read on afterwards it'd be rude not to...  


The concept is simple, tap is on all the time, a timer releases water into a system of pipes which then waters the garden while you are away, or lazy. This is easy enough in a 'real' garden, because you can bury pipe to water long rows of plants at once. As we have pots I had to get a little more creative. 

The shopping list:

• Pipe
• 13mm main line
• 4mm feeder line
• Fittings 13mm
• tap screw and barb  (pictured above)
• stopper barb
• clamps for each fitting
• Fittings 4mm
• through-barbs (pictured below)
• desired litres/hour dripper head (optional)
• Other
• Drip punch (pictured below)
• Timer

By far the most pricey item is the timer. The above list can be had for about $50, the timer is the same again for a basic digital model. I'd suggest (being a tight-arsed student and all) getting the system set up one pay, watching it and tinkering as needed for a fortnight then adding the timer next pay. 

tap screw barb with a clamp fitted

Step 1: Run out you mainline from the tap through your pots, to about a metre past your last pot. Attach the tap screw barb to one end, and the stopper to the other. If you are pedantic, check for leaks. 

TIP: don't make the lengths too long, this system relies on pressure and you want it fairly evenly distributed along the length of main pipe. If you need more, get a splitter from the tap, and double this recipe.

13mm stopper barb with clamp

Step 2: Be reasonably careful about where to punch your holes, you can get stoppers but they tend to leak. Use the 4mm spike on the hole punch to gently open up a hole for each pot. 
TIP: Don't be too rough making holes, make them just big enough so you really have to squeeze the 4mm barbs in tightly. 

4mm through-barb

Step 3: Cut lengths of 4mm tube long enough so that when it is all attached the pipe will not be pulled from the pot (or you could just anchor it) and fit one end of each 4mm pipe cutting with a through-barb.
 TIP: Don't make sections too long as water will struggle to get pressured out, especially on long vertical trips.

Drip punch, has 4mm, 6mm and 10mm spikes. Versatile.


Step 4: Push the through-barbs into the mainline where you have punched holes and set the watering ends into your pots.TIP: Experiment with water throughput at either end of your main line and place thirsty plants  accordingly 

Step 5: ???????

Most random picture on the Internet, true, Google it

Step 6: Profit. You can now use any timer you like and have a modular, automated watering system regardless of space.


You may want to observe the plants being watered by your system for a week, because if it is not working as desired you will have spent a bunch of cash on a clear conscience as your plants die while you holiday.

Now onto other garden shenanigans from today!

First up in the B-roll was the planting of a couple of passionfruit to run up our courtyard fence. It is so white that I wanted to cut some colour through it to stop the glare. I bought two plants, as passionfruit tend to do much better in pairs, and planned out the trajectory of the runners.

Turns out my soil is about a foot deep before concrete. Awesome!

I decided to run them from there radiating up the wall. The espalier job I've done on the citrus is really messy and unstructured so I thought bringing in some lines might work to lengthen the courtyard a bit.

So I measured once, eye-balled it a bit and thought it looked alright. Not sure what I'll do when they run up there which will happen within a year, I might run them down and back over to create another wall of green similar to the effect I hope for on the espalier. 

  These are grafted which gives the plant a good head start, they generally graft onto a robust root stock (that alone might not be great for fruit) so that the root systems are very strong. Also it means the plant won't need to work as hard establishing itself in the garden here. Pro tip: you can bury a good portion of a plant's stem to convert it to a strong root system. I'll put a video up on the Facebook page (opens in new window) about doing this with tomatoes to get maximum yield. 

 Growing things on walls in your compact space is a great way to garden. Using that vertical plane isn't done often enough, and for something that might take up a few inches of depth, these plants will proved a bunch of free fruit, a host of helpful insects, and a break from the monotony of urban architecture.

 - Alex